Written and performed by
Hugo (Trevor Keith/T.K.) Lucas (Buddy/B.) |
Clément (Christian Walters/C.W.) |
C.W. sits down on his chair. T.K. and B come in, meet C.W. and hit their head on a table.
C.W.: Who’s looking for a job?
B: Me! T.K. hits him.
T.K.: Shut up! My name is Trevor Keith.
C.W.: Sorry, can you spell it please?
T.K.: T-R-A-V…
B: No it isn’t. It’s T-R-E-V-O…
T.K.: (shouting) I know how to spell my name!
B: No, you don’t.
T.K.: One minute please.
He takes B and brings him behind the desk. We hear B crying and T.K. hitting him. C.W. waits a little and he finally calls them.
C.W.: Have you finished now?
T.K. lets B on the floor and comes back. There is blood on B’ face.
T.K.: Sorry. Can you continue, please?
C.W.: Yes… So… How old are you?
T.K.: I’m 41.
C.W. : Ok. Can you speak about your hobbies?
T.K.: Oh yes ! I like dogs !
C.W.: I like them too. I had a dog before, a very good dog. But in a sad day, I found him hung up at the top of a church... If I find the sadistic person who did it…
T.K.: Was it a black dog ?
C.W.: Yes… He was a beautiful black Labrador. But why ?
T.K.: Really ? It was me. I enjoyed this day.
C.W.: You’re joking !?
T.K.: No it’s the truth.
C.W.: And… What did you do with the legs ?
T.K.: We ate them.
During this time, B has crawled on the floor and has come back near the table.
B: They were delicious !
C.W.: Oh my god ! Let’s speak about another subject now, please.
T.K.: You don’t want to know what happened to the other dogs I killed ?
C.W.: What ! You killed others !
T.K.: Yes. (He looks at B). Explain how you killed them in the forest.
B: Oh yeah ! I was in the forest with hunters and their dogs. I took a shotgun and I blew up the dogs. But their masters didn’t agree so I had to kill them too. After that I nailed them on trees. And you, tell him how you killed this dog at the river.
T.K.: Oh yes ! I attached a stone to the leg of the dog and I threw it in the water. It was absolutely fabulous.
C.W. doesn’t feel very well. He goes behind the cupboard to throw up his breakfast. Then while T.K. and B are speaking he phones the police.
C.W.: Hello police ? I’m Christian Walters from the job agency. I’m now with two very dangerous serial killers. Ok. Hum ok. I’m waiting for you.
When he comes back B and T.K. are fighting. T.K. throws B on the table. There is blood on C.W.’s paper. He sees that and hits B. The police arrives, B is on the floor. The police takes T.K. and lets B. B is happy and stands up.
C.W.: Excuse me but… Is your friend a man or a woman ? His voice is strange.
B: In fact he’s a man. But when he was a child, a dog bit his testicles. And now he speaks like a woman.
C.W.: Ok thank you. But I remember… You destroyed my paper ! I will kill you !
He brings B out the room and that’s the end.THE END